12 Jan Ep. #107 The Grammar and Punctuation of BODY LANGUAGE with Liana Blackburn
This episode is a heart-full ride through some of our favorite themes: purpose, navigation, growth, and creation. Our guest, Liana Blackburn Snarburg dives head first into making and maintaining BIG life changes from diet to lifestyle and career path. She doesn’t pretend it is easy, but she does have a recipe that works, and she shares it with so much flavor! If you are looking to make big moves (and savoring your LIFE) in 2022, this episode is for you.
January 13th Coaching Call:
Scroll to the bottom of the page at thedanawilson.com
Adele Cabot, Vocal Coach:
Daily Dancer Diet
Intro: Welcome to Words That Move Me, the podcast where movers and shakers, like you, get the information and inspiration you need to navigate your creative career with clarity and confidence. I am your host, Dana Wilson, and I move people. I am all about the tools and techniques that empower tomorrow’s leaders to make the work of their dreams and live a full life while doing it. So whether you’re new to the game or transitioning to your next echelon of greatness, you’re in the right place.
Dana: Hello, Hello, my friend. And welcome to words that move me. I’m Dana and Ooh, who, who are you in for a treat today? If you are looking for motivation and a wind for your sales, as they say to set you out at sea on your journey, that is 2022. Mm I have got it for you today. Plus some, I mean, truly like remainder motivation.
Um, it is truly hard to listen to our guest Liana Blackburn and not get fired up. In fact, during this, uh, interview, I even teared up a couple times, so get ready to feel your feelings. Um, this episode is a heartful ride through some of the biggest themes that we talk about here on the podcast. We talk about purpose navigation, growth creation so much so good, but first, before we get into it, we’re going to do wins as always. We start every episode with wins and today I am celebrating. And some of you may have seen me celebrate this on my Instagram. Uh, today I’m celebrating, being the proud owner of an electric scooter, shout out nine, but, uh, they didn’t pay me to say that, but like, I really love my scooter. Um, and this, this tremendous sense of bad-ass Surrey bombarding around my neighborhood and beyond, uh, with my husband on these scooters.
That is my, when we used to, we used to joke that we might start a scooter gang someday. And now that joke is funny cause it’s true. Um, and there is a sub win here, a scooter sub when you know me never one when Wilson, that’s what they called me in grade school. I’m kidding. But wouldn’t that be cool anyways? I don’t think I’m going to go into my sub win. Now. I think I’m going to come back to that in another episode because there’s actually quite a lot to dig into with that. Um, so that’s it for me today celebrating my two person scooter gang. Um, now it is your turn hit me. What’s going well in your world.
Congratulations. I’m so glad you’re winning thrilled for you. Keep it up. All right, now let’s do this. Let’s not drag this out any longer. I am so excited to share this conversation with Leanna because she is a person who loves to share in many ways she shares for a living. And if you do not already know this and love this about her, I think you’re about to so movers and shakers pull up a chair and probably a pen or paper because you’re going to want to take some notes. This is Liana Blackburn. It’s Liana Blackburn Snarberg. Enjoy
Dana: Holy smokes, Ms. Liana Blackburn. Oh, is this still Blackburn?
Liana: I am still Blackburn, but I’m also Snarburg
Dana: Blackburn Snarburg. Do you have the hyphen?
I didn’t do the hyphen. I actually got rid of my middle name because I had no attachment to it. I put my maiden last name as my middle name and then took a new last name
That everyone that is a very creative approach to the name game.
Yeah. You know what? I kind of had a panic at the disco moment when I was at the courthouse making the decision. I was like, oh my God, I have to make a decision now to like, get rid of my name. And I was really emotional about it and didn’t want to do it. I was like, really? My middle name means nothing to me. So we’re just going to get rid of that.
Great response to a stressful moment. I love it. So what now? I’m so curious. What was your middle name?
Kimberly. Kimberly It’s because, because my parents, I have a sister that’s older, she’s four and a half years older. Right. When I was born, she really wanted to name me. She really wanted an Amy Kimberley because Kimberly was her best friend in preschool. Okay. My parents were like, well, she’s not going to be named Kimberly, but we’ll just give the middle name. So it was kind of like, we’ll just make you happy. We’ll give her the middle name. Oh, my sister is friends with Kimberly anymore. Like, it’d be different. It lasted, but she didn’t.
So she really did not have that staying power. And neither did your middle name. So perhaps Kimberly’s are United in that. No offense. Kimberly’s out there. Funny story about names. And then I promise we’ll get on with the episode. Um, I assume because you have a tiny baby, but I could be totally wrong because your baby’s a little bit younger than this, uh, than the target market for this movie. But have you seen frozen to know? Okay, so I have nieces, I have a seven year old niece and a four year old niece. And by the way, when Millie, sorry. When Charlotte was born Millie, her older sister by three years, wanted to name her tulip shop that she was like two, what will the baby’s name be tullip shop? I say Joe PPE, by the way, because she’s got expensive Parisian tastes, I guess. I don’t know. But, um, Coco, Charlotte did not become too of shop. She became Charlotte, but to have shop is the real, if you ask Molly, what I, you know, what, why do I want to say her middle name is bean? Cause we just call her cocoa bean. Her middle name is not being, I don’t know. Charlotte’s middle name. It might be to look trap. Um, okay. Tulip is the cutest. Okay. I keep discussing wow. Focus in frozen to the funniest. Hands down. The funniest moment is when Olaf is searching for his friends and he’s calling out their names and then he also calls out the name of Samantha, but only nobody’s name is Samantha. And he’s like, I don’t even know someone named Samantha it’s hysterical, but that’s not the point. The point is that I have made this reference to frozen two and Olaf and Samantha in every single mini class that I have taught for the last year. And I always ask, is anyone in the room named Samantha? And zero times has someone raised their hand actually named Samantha, which tells me the amount of research that that team did to find the most obscure name for that age group. Like they found out nobody’s named Samantha. So this is going to be funny to everyone. Cause nobody knows. Nobody knows is Samantha. And I’m like riveted by this. And I have the Feeling that was a choice.
Do you really owe think that was a choice 100%?
Now I’m so curious to know like where are the Samantha’s and I mean, I know you’re teaching a class, but still like, there must be some Samantha’s of that demographic age
A year, my friend a year, seven to 10, zero Samantha’s. So what I do next is that I then tell the mini ballroom that their collective name is Sam, everybody we’re S we’re Sam. All right. And so when I say, all right, Samantha, get on the floor. Everybody gets on the floor. And when I say give it up for this group, everybody’s like work, Samantha, get a Sam. You been at work since it’s history. So nobody’s name is Samantha and everyone’s name is Samantha.
You know, what’s so special about that moment is now all of a sudden you’ve created this comradery with a group of people who didn’t usually have that. That’s really special. You’re a genius.
Thank you. I love minis. I really shine in that room because I’m with people. Okay. So that’s me. That’s Samantha, let’s talk about you Leanna, introduce yourself. What would you like us to know about you other than your middle name was Kimberly?
Hello everybody. My name is Liana Blackburn Snarburg also known as daily dancer diet on the social platforms. Um, I am a new mama as Dana had already referenced of a, almost 13 month old boy named George. And he is the fourth. Yes. I kept the tradition going. Yes. G4 or four or all the things.
Okay. This is good. This is good.
There’s a lot of nicknames coming through because it took me seven days or five days to even agree to do the name. Really baby was unnamed for five days. Cause I was like, I don’t know. I don’t know. Okay. And then now it’s like the most beautiful thing I could have done and chosen to do. You know, it was just, I needed that time to sit with that anyway. That’s not my introduction, but um, I am so grateful that dance is my modality through life. Like I’m just so stoked that it’s this thing I found when I was three and it’s this thing I’m doing at 35 and that if somebody were to ask me like, you can do anything you want, you can do anything you want, nobody’s pressuring to do this. No. Like what are you going to choose? And I’m going to say yes to what I’ve been doing. And I’m like, so stoked about that answer because that says a lot about me. Um, so I’m going to just stop it there.
Dance as your modality, your through-line in life. Um, I think you and I, if the first 20 minutes of our preamble was not a Testament enough, I think you and I have a lot in common. We could talk for days about dance. And honestly, I don’t have much of a structure for this conversation. I’m excited to riff, but, um, one of the things that we, we also share in addition to some really fun gigs in the past, which we could unearth and discuss, um, one of the things that we have in common in addition to gigs, and we were put in dance at an early age and happen to really like it still, um, is this relationship to our voice. And I’m kind of going left like right out the gate, but you have such a distinct voice and I’m remembering, I’ve always known this, but as I’m talking to you right now, I’m like, oh my God, that’s Liana for sure. And I have had a really interesting relationship to my voice, a lot of ups and downs, as you know, I had vocal cord surgery, uh, last summer to remove a cyst. I’ve been in the healing phases since then. Um, but I remember before I knew I had a assist, which apparently I’ve had for years, you helped me find a vocal coach because you were also working on your voice. Um, and her name is Adele. And I will link to her in the show notes because I had a very good time working with my vocal coach, Adele, who is not the Adele Adele. But could you imagine just like Adele, do you have like 30 minutes to fit me in today to do my,
Um, she’s it’s like, she’s like, we’re going to start with Hometown Glory today. Good with that.
Yes. Let’s warm up. Let’s warm up with that. Um, but uh, I would love to hear you talk about your relationship to your voice and that doesn’t necessarily mean like your speaking voice, but your voice as a performer, your voice as a mother, your voice as a mentor, um, how did you find it? What’s your relationship to it? Because this is something I’m very curious about.
This is such a, a really great question, Dan.
Thank you. It is broad. I know we’re starting at 30,000 feet, but
It’s so good. And you know, that the thing it brings me back to it brings me back to dance. I do find a pivotal moment when I was on scholarship at edge. So in 2004 to 2005, I did scholarship program at edge. And after that, I I remember when I was working behind the desk on the program, that I would see teachers constantly like booking out and there would constantly be showing up to class that we’d have to turn away because the teacher called out late and whatever. And I’m like, I could teach the class. Like I could, we could keep this business. Like I could teach the class. And I constantly was like, oh my God, I was seeing how much need there was for teachers, um, or subsidies. And I remember after scholarship, I really wanted to be teaching and I will never forget bills. Like, so what are you going to, what, what are you,
What’s your class going to be? You said Jazz.
And I was like, Jazz. And he’s like, well, why would, if Mandy Maura was teaching jazz at the same time, you’re teaching jazz. Why would someone take your jazz instead? Like, what are you offering? Basically like my interpretation of that, it’s like, w w what’s your voice? What’s your voice in what you’re offering? Um, he didn’t say it within those words, but at the time I didn’t hear it like that. Of course, I was like, well, that’s well means to me, I’m going to be different. You know, I, I didn’t take it like that, then I didn’t take it like that. But always going back to frozen and winter, you must learn to, with the frozen, the snowflake, um, I w that really sat with me because he forced me to go, like, what are you offering? It’s not the title of the class. It is what you’re bringing to the students that matters. Like, what’s, what’s your value for them? What’s the value for them. And so I didn’t teach for years in LA, but I was continuing to teach around town, like around the states. And back at my home studio, I was teaching. I’ve been teaching forever, but I didn’t teach in LA until I created body language, which is like fast forward, fast forward to, I don’t know, 13 years later, 10 years later, after this fight with bill prudish, like, why won’t you give me a class kind of thing, right. Actually, I’m going to lie. I did start teaching jazz at edge before body language, but it wasn’t like, I didn’t know what I was doing. You know, I was still like, you have enough man. He was in the other room. Like, I wouldn’t feel proud to like, be like, come take mine. He said, Amanda, I’d be like, you should go over there.
I checked everyone, grab your dance bags, follow me. Here we go.
Thank you for coming. We’re going to go next door. Um, so I, I want to say that that insert he had within me to like, find my voice was again, chosen to do that through the modality of dance. Like I started with, like, I chose to find my voice through dance. Um, as I’m teaching dance, anyone who’s taken my class in the last couple of years, we’ll know, like, we’re not talking about dance here. Like, we’re never talking about dance in my class. Everybody’s like, these are life lessons. I’m like, yeah, I’m basically teaching like a life class hidden within like us dance lessons or like, It is the biggest underlying foundation here.
Yes, it is. It is. And what’s so cool is, you know, I’m grateful to have the opportunity to practice life lessons in a low stakes environment. Great points we’ll have like, okay, so where do I go to like, practice this and not really be judged now, as I’m saying that I’m going to say right away, people are going to say, I feel judged in a dance class. I feel judged in a dance class. That’s not a low stakes environment. And then I ask you, well, who who’s putting that on you, you know? Um, right. And is that, is that an expectation that you’ve done to yourself to show up? Or are you putting yourself in a room where the other side of the, the, the learning is putting that on you? Is that supportive for your environment? I ask so many questions. Like, is that coming from an outside source?
You know what I mean? So going back to the voice in this it’s like, while I was recognizing within myself that I was ready to move out from performing as being my main goal, when I was like, no, I’m not, I don’t want to continue to have performing be the main thing I’m doing. I was ready to change my relationship with dance, because as I was a performer for so long, I was like, oh, I’m so used to living through other people’s purpose. Like living out other people’s stories, being, being like yes to someone else. I was like, what if I revisit the yes to myself? And actually this goes back to some unexperienced I had with you, Dane. I’ll never forget. You asked me to come with you to the studio at the old millennium, we went upstairs, you were creating choreo for something you put on Audra Mae, may you introduced me to for the first time. And you were like, no, what? We’re just going to move. And I’m going to say yes to every choice that comes out my body. I’m just going to say yes to what feels right to me. I’ll never forget that. And I was like, this is a great concept. I love that.
What, again? Dance lessons or life yet lessons. Oh, I almost said life lessons, which is amazing.
They are life lessons, which let’s be real. There is tremendous power in no, but as a tool, as a creative practice, for sure. Um, in past episodes with the seaweed sisters, when I talk about collaboration, uh, our golden principle is yes. And you say yes and something else. Um, and it’s a really, it’s a fun way to be making. And I remember talking to my agents about this, I had a concept for a dance competition show, and I won’t say much cause it might still happen, but improv was hugely, um, involved. And when I explained it to my agents, my agent was like, wait, yes. Wow. That could be very good for business like that. As a business mentality is others, no ceiling. It just blows the ceiling off of what’s what’s possible. So I love that. So you decided to start saying yes to yourself and start saying, no, thank you to some of these performance opportunities that were coming your way. That was that when BLX was formed or, or so, or daily dancer die, or both Daily dancer, diet had been introduced. So to give some context, to me, feeling confident enough to approach this, I did have a life change change in 2011. So I’m trying to give a timeline here. So like 2004, 2005, 2006 was my interaction with bill saying like, what would be your class? So I’m like, okay, this, this it’s like, he planted this seed in me that I’m like, okay, when I, if I’m going to teach in LA, like I need to have, what’s the value I’m offering. What’s my voice basically. So performing, performing, performing, learning, listening on set and experience, taking in being the sponge, right. Experience, experience, experience. Then I come to 2011 where I’m also in the middle of experience, but I’m also in like a health crisis where my body, my acne, like all these things, if anybody’s been like, I’ve talked about it before, I won’t go into that here. Cause you can find me talking about that anywhere. Like I will be sure to link, to link to some of your other talks first, right? Acne. Like I, as a dancer, my body is like, you know what, what it looks like is so much a part of what I’m presenting and like how I’m presenting me, even to myself, how I feel. And I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror anyway, I went through such a shift of going, oh, I have control over, changing what I put my body. Oh, I have control over how I think, oh, I have control. And like, literally just in 2011 was like kick a cut, like went balls to the wall and just changed everything with my diet. It started with my diet. And then it’s like one of those things, the more you learn about something that it just like spirals into all these other avenues. So it’s like toxicity, all these things. So that started in 2011. So I was on this like, um, holistic life change in 2011, few years later, everybody’s like, what are you doing? What are you doing that birthday lead answered? I had to just give answers to people constantly asking, like, why is it, why are you so different than you were before? What, why you’re eating? Why are you doing that? And there’s so much societal pressure of like change that I wanted. I wanted to use Instagram as like, this is what you can see to see why I’m doing and why. And I was like filtering my experience through that. Um, and then over time, that changed as well. So my voice was curated by so many different spaces. It was like me putting myself first with my health first that’s what really CA was the catapult, um, recognizing what self-care actually was, what self love actually was putting myself first like that for an, and seeing how that I was confronted socially by that constantly, like there was so much pressure and why I was doing things.
And it was like, because I’m putting myself first and it was like that the social pressure was the hardest of it all. And anytime I talk, could you give an example real quick? Like, can you recall anyone that knew me knew I would eat French fries knew I would love fried food, knew I love dessert. And if I was going out and not doing the things they saw me that I used to do, it was like something was wrong or I had, or, or I made them feel if they wanted those things. I made them feel bad for wanting those things. Or if we used to have a bond with those things, and now I didn’t want that anymore. Right. It like totally took a riff and all these social spaces that I was like, whoa, I was not expecting this to be the hardest part of it all. And anyone else, that’s going through a change socially. I’m like, we need to talk about this because that’s where they’re feeling the most pushback. So,
And that’s why it’s probably a huge reason why big changes like that are so difficult for so many people who are like socially woven into big, big baskets, big social baskets. Like we are like life on tour. You, you are literally eat, sleep, breathe, work, play with the same group of people. So having, you know, changing yourself in a time like that is like, you’re, you’re changing the fibers of the group basket, but I love this notion that, um, that, that be the hardest part because in some ways it’s hard because you’re taking responsibility for other people and the way they’re feeling versus letting them feel their way about that. And being okay with that, which I’m sure is where you landed eventually, because you can’t eat to please other people you can’t drink to please other people, if you did, you would be eating and then not eating the same food you would be drinking and then not drinking. You would be like, if you’re doing all of those things to fit in with the group, you’re in Wowza tough times. I’m not saying you were by the way, but if that’s like, they are so ingrained in our world as being social things, eating and drinking or social behaviors versus what they actually are, is sustenance for our human lives. But yeah, we’re so trained to think that it’s just what, it’s what we do socially. Sorry. That was a sidestep unimportant.
So important. What you’re saying is so important because my, my daily, I shifted my consciousness to being like, so aware of all these things that I was so alert to when in my past I was saying yes to things that I didn’t want because of the social norm or because it just felt more comfortable not to say no. I was just like, wow, wow. Because when I say, no, I’m confronted with this, I’m confronted with this. Like why, but why I’m confronted with like defending myself.
Okay. And when you have a strong, why that’s not a problem.
Exactly. Exactly. And that is the point that we can talk about voice for the rest of this call. But I’m like trying to find the I’m like, how can we button this up? That is where the voice finder is. Like, when you have a, why? When I found my, why the diff I didn’t need to defend myself. I didn’t need to even have to answer everybody’s question. I felt comfortable. And just like knowing, well, I have a purpose here and you don’t eat in it. You don’t need to agree with it. And then that cat had a bolted in not only the way I was eating and drinking, it transitioned into how I created what I did with body language, me, creating body language, meaning moves with the business, me making choices, like through everything like that. One shift of purpose and why that started with my health and my love for myself and my value in my, my like happiness and my health longterm not short changed my voice for everything else. And it gave me the permission to be like, oh, if I just have an intention and if I have a purpose and I have meaning that like cannot be pushed over easily or at all, then I can, my voice like sings. It sings.
He, ah, that is so powerful. I love that. I love that. You found your why me teach jazz? Why me eat this way? Why me not eat that way? Why me drink? Why me not drink? Why me tour? Why me not tour? Like this is it. And I love that everyone will get their own answer to that question. Um, I, something that I think I catch, cause I’m a big, like, I love to know my why I love. Cause I know things will get hard cause I want to do hard things. And I know when things get hard, I want to return to my why. So I like to have a solid why. And sometimes when I’m preparing for that, I catch myself. Like, because it feels good or like, because I want it or like I get, I can be kind of bitchy with myself in the defining the why moment and what I would encourage you all is to like anybody who’s listening. Who’s like, oh yeah, I should probably give myself away. Ask yourself why in the same way a five-year-old child would ask you why, which is over and over and over again. And you’ll say like, because it feels good and they’ll say, why does it feel good? And you’ll say, Hmm, why does it feels good? Because I think that this, or because it seems like this. And so if you, Y enough you will like, from a place of love too, like a little kid, just like why. Okay. Well, why, well then why that? And like why that you can get to a deep place of knowing that is like, yes, that’s the source of the voice killer. Okay. Love it.
I think it’s such a like clear thing of what you just said is from a place of curious, like from a place of curiosity, because a little kid there can feel like
I’m not going to lie. Sometimes little kids really are just trying to annoy you, but yeah. From a place of curiosity versus like innocent questioning or, or suspicion or like interrogation, it’s not that it’s like, I am so curious. What is at the bottom of that? What’s on the side of that. What’s in front of that. How does that really, like, how much does that weigh? How much, what does that feel like? Yeah. I mean ask all the questions.
Yes. And I think it’s so it’s so important to know how to ask the questions. Cause even like, when I hear you choose a question in the podcasts, I’m like, oh, that’s a good question. So it’s not only about ask, just ask why it’s like, how you’re choosing to do that for yourself. Because I know that sometimes when I’m taking like in advice from someone else, it seems like, oh, they really, they really do that. And so I want that what that other person does. And then I have this expectation of what’s going to what I need to get from the questioning. And so it’s like, can I release, can I release any expectation and just have an innocent curiosity within it?
Oh, what a way to be. Yes. Um, as you’re talking, I’m thinking about it’s, it’s one of my favorite trades confusion for curiosity, whenever I’m feeling confused, it’s very disempowered position and it almost always leads to inaction. When I feel confused, I sit right where I am in all my confusion and I will scroll or I will like completely buffer that feeling way. Cause I am a person who likes feeling capable and in the know, and I like feeling like I have a voice, a why, and when I feel like I don’t, when you feel like you don’t understand, um, I, I don’t feel like me and I feel stifled and small and trading confusion for curiosity is my favorite way to, to move from that space emphasis on move. Because when you are feeling curious, you go, you seek. And so, yeah. I’m glad you underlined that. That’s huge. Um, okay. Now I am curious about something because you’ve mentioned now B LX, you are still very active on social platforms with daily dancer diet. You’re making recipes, you’re talking specifically about travel and lifestyle now specifically about being a mother as well. You are a mom Leanna, which I just am so glad people like you are having babes. It’s really great news. Um, and George, I will wrap him up into that too. Hi, George George, the third. Um, but, uh, I let’s see, I am a person who loves a full life. I love to be doing the things, love to be feeling the feelings I have flirted with straight up burnout. So many times, because in my, in my view of the world, you have to be able to do everything. You have to have a side business and be touring and be auditioning and still be in class and have a podcast and an end. And I’m just like, oh, I know that that’s 100% in my mind, but ma, and maybe you can help me readjust my perspective here. But when I look at you, I’m like, whoa, Lianais doing everything. She is being a mom. She is being a mentor. She is facilitating classes and learning environments for people on the come up, which is another area where we are in alignment. Um, you are every day having to prepare your food for your life. George’s food for George’s life. You own a home, you are doing all the things. How do you stay organized? What are the thoughts that keep you from overwhelm? Um, do you have a team? Do you have tools? What is it that keeps your many, many things together? As I hear are going to be like, Dana, I’m a shit storm. I am a mess. I asked my CPA. I mean,
Yes. And so as I hear you saying these, these very kind outside perspectives on myself and my life,
Isn’t it funny. That’s how, how we look from the outside.
I’ve been taking it in and saying like, you know, that’s pretty amazing that I’ve been able to, you know, um, do all those things. Like, as you’re saying that I could easily just be like, thank you for seeing me in that way, but I’m, I’m, I’m working on receiving. And so I’m going to even just take them on and be like, I have done those things and like, I’m receiving it. It’s like, wow, that’s really cool that I’m doing those things. And yes. And I have stopped a lot of those things as I’ve introduced motherhood. Not for, I should say I’ve paused those things because there’s a difference between stopping and pausing. There is also, I can stop and restart. Like I, nobody can tell me what I have to do, but I have definitely paused. So I have not been as active on social platforms and the last, well, probably at least six months, I have given myself so much grace to say like this, I have discovered a new, um, priority, which is my, um, motherhood.
And I am going to gracefully navigate how I want to weave this into my basket of things. But right now I will not know that until I commit to this new experience. So I’m a wreck. I recognize that my past I’ve been able to so fully commit myself into whatever I’ve done, because I haven’t had anything else. Even being married. I’ve never felt this like pull that my husband is preventing me from committing to something I want to do. Right. He’s been such a supporter. So I’ve been like, yeah, yeah. I’m going to like do the thing for me and do the thing for me in that thing. And now it’s like, that is not the same thing. When I have a child, there’s not just like, I just get to do this thing for me. Right. This is just like, so we have a new factor.
We’re going to have a fully new element in the equation.
Yes. So before I get really upset and angry, that things are different before I get really upset that I can’t do dot, dot, dot. I’m going to fully commit to this new thing I’ve never done before and feel like wildly perp, wildly alive and wildly afraid. And like, why, like the level in which I’m fi I’m somebody who loves to feel. And I’m like, okay, thank you for giving me an opportunity to feel at a capacity in which I feel
Right. Right. And like dialed up to 12th. Yes.
1200. It feels crazy. The amount that I’m able to feel so many things. So while yes, I have done all the things you’ve said Dane, in the midst of committing to motherhood while yes. I’ve maintained things. I’ve heard you say before, I’ve heard you even say to my mentorship, like given okay. To like see plus work. And so as I’ve, which has been such a wonderful, like permission slip, because I have not been able to do that for myself before being pregnant. I’ve been like eight plus eight plus on all the things. And now I’m like, okay, what if it’s like a plus on motherhood and like C plus on like maintaining certain things
On chiming in, on Instagram for like 100%, take the above average on that and run with it.
No, it’s crazy about that Dan. Like I miss that. What’s so cool about pressing pause is seeing the things that I really miss and being able to let go of the things that like I don’t miss and I miss engaged on Instagram. I miss creating on Instagram. I miss social platforms. I miss my community and I’m like, oh my gosh, I really value this place. And you know, I felt before I valued Instagram and social platforms and online community before I did, I’ve always had a really, really positive relationship with it. And I still do. Um, so yes, I am still really active on a lot of things that I started, like my mentorship, like I’ve said like that to me, it was like, I’m not stopping. This is so valuable for my life, for the women’s life that I’ve been working with. Um, or for any soul that’s been connected with me. And I’ve said yes, to continuing my business. I have body language tutorials online. I’ve said yes to continuing maintaining things. I put in place. That being said, I’m so happy that before I chose to get pregnant, I experimented so many times I experimented with all new things, with health, with business avenues, with relationships, I was able to try on things and commit to so many things that while I was, when I got pregnant and when I’m now I’m a mother I’m able to go like, wow, I’ve really practice a lot of these other skills that I know how to pull from quickly without being like, oh, I need to experiment on a new thing. Like, how do I juggle? So I’m really grateful for the years I spent experiencing and experimenting before being a mother. Um, so that now I’m like, okay, I’m going to keep this thing. I know I have that skill and I’m okay that I’ve let go of it for awhile. I can pick it back up again. It’s like, I have all these skills that I can choose when I’m wanting to work on them. Um, I have a team I’ve also been able to go yes. To help. Yes. If mother taught me anything more than being like, I’m so quick to be able to ask for support now more than I ever was, yes, I need help. Yes. I feel depleted. Yes. I feel exhausted. Those were the type of things I didn’t value before. Um, so I’ve been able to cultivate, hiring people for things that I don’t, I don’t have them to bring me, I’ve been able to do that. Like I have like, oh my gosh, I have like five people that are doing things for me that I’m able to like, and, and, and, you know, what’s cool about that is it’s people that value that thing and it brings joy to them. So not only I’m recognizing that I’m able to give someone else value and something they love to do, but you’re sharing you’re distributing. Whereas before I felt like, oh, this is just a me thing. Like, it’s just a me thing. I’m like, actually, no, there’s like, I’m able to offer more to somebody of some of the things that they love. So yeah. I’ve been able to bring on board people to help facilitate things, um, that bring more value to them than they had for me on like the day to day stuff, which then brings me to the place where I have more, that, that I know I can bring more value and I’ve felt this immense, like as a creator, as like somebody who’s really worked on facilitating creative visions, I have felt terrified as a new mom to go. Like, I, I it’s been really, like, there’s so many things. There’s so many things in my mind that like have this volt now that volt is like growing and growing and growing. And there’s nothing that’s ever like coming out of the vault. It’s just like the vault is building and it’s building it’s building. And then I’ve just been able to practice the constant recognition of like the creation of my life, not the creation of like this idea that I have, or this business idea that I have, or this concept video that I have. Like, those are still valuable, but I’m able to know like find the value in the creation of my life. You’ve done this. You help people practice this, you know, it’s so well, the listeners know it’s so well yet. It’s not always easily. Uh placable When, you know, when you have the choice. Um, and not to, I say, I don’t have choice now, but I’ve chosen where I’m at. I’ve chosen to focus on the creation of my life as being the purpose and not the creation of like something that has to be, um, a product
Yeah. Or work period. I mean, I think when we, I know this is something I’m intimately faced with right now, I would jump at the opportunity to work way before I jumped at the opportunity to be with myself and just be with myself. I would rather be editing a podcast episode or scheduling a podcast episode or taking somebody’s class or editing a video or choreographing something. I would like, I have gotten so much purpose and reward and fulfillment from work. That it is my default. And I’m so glad I’m hearing you say these words right now. Life requires craftsmanship, just like our work does. And if we shove it off to the side to favor work, then we will find ourselves at 60. When most people are retiring, um, to live a life with no outside interests, no outside life to live. What, what is beyond work?
What is, what is out there in the great abyss, especially for people who love their work so much, like it’s tough, right? Because when I’m working, I am feel capable. I feel in charge, I feel free. I feel useful. I feel unique. I feel all these wonderful things. And the thing that’s important to remember is that I’m saying this to myself, um, is that it’s not the work that makes me feel those things. It’s thinking this is meant to be I’m in the right spot. I’m doing it right. I’m doing my best. I am good. I am getting better. And if I can just adopt that way of thinking over there into non-work life, I’m doing my best. I’m getting better. I am seeking. I am learning then. Oh my gosh. Outside life is like the most fun thing. But when I’m out there in the outside life, thinking I should be working, I should be danced.
I should be trying to make my, I should’ve said yes to that gig. I shouldn’t. It can, that’s it. Whoa, really a hard thing to endure is this, this life that’s thinking you should always be doing something else. So I applaud you in your commitment to crafting your life and to accepting pause mode. Or you said something else that I was really struck by maintenance, like maintenance mode, not every toggle of every part of your life needs to be in the advance position or achievement, like high achieve mode. I’m imagining, by the way, like, I always do myself in this cockpit and I’ve got all these sliders and buttons and levers and things, and it’s like, totally okay. For a few of those switches to be an auto, that’s an autopilot, that’s an autopilot I’m going to like, definitely keep my close eye on this gauge because it’s really important to me right now. And I’m going to slide this up to advanced mode and that’s going to go into pause and I’m going to ask somebody else to come in and do that. It just makes so much sense. Um, but I
Love the analogy because you also have the copilot.
Absolutely. And we do, this is another thing I’m face-to-face with because you and I both have brilliant and loving partners. And that is not true for everyone all the time. It is a gift and it is, uh, such a it’s, it’s an awesome other part of my life. But I think like if I did not have Daniel, that doesn’t mean I’m alone. You know, not having a partner doesn’t mean you don’t have a copilot it’s might seem like a really, really super cheesy cop-out, but go with me here. What if my copilot was also me, but me 10 years in the future and I can look at them and be like, Hey, what did you decide when we, when you were setting this lever and you were like, trying to figure out that, how did you do that? And they’re going to be like, oh yeah, it is a visitor. And you could just put future self right next to you. Or you could put like little child self next to you and they can be full of wonder. And they can be like, curious and like, come on. This is what we get. We’re not alone.
I love that so much. It’s not cheeseball I know. I love it so much. I love it so much. Even before you said before, I didn’t know where you were going when you said that. Right. So you started and when to be clear, when I said copilot, I was not referring to my husband, I was just referring to support. And one seat to me, copilot means like anyone I’m choosing in the moment for support. Um, and so that can be anything, but then you went straight into the part and I was like, yeah. I mean, gosh he’s. So my copilot, my main copilot right now, but also I have all these other co-pilots that I call on. And then when you, and then when you dove into like the other co-pilot, I was like, where’s this going to go? And then when you brought up the younger self, that higher self, I was like, yeah, hallelujah, because it’s such a real other relationship. It might like, you’re like, it’s feasible, but it’s like a completely different relationship. It’s a completely different set of experience. Like it really, it really is a different relationships. So I really liked that you brought that in, but I also did want to highlight how a co-pilot is in my eyes. Literally anyone that I feel trusts me, values me, respects me. That wants to support me. Um, so,
Mm, love this. Well, I think, yeah, I’m, I’m working to be, you know, as I always have my listeners in mind and by the way, I’m in my podcast booth that my husband built me and I have pictures up behind where my computer is sitting right now. So that even when I’m doing solo episodes, I’m never talking to myself. Like I try to keep an audience. And I’m always thinking about the different types of listeners who are not married and who might hear this episode. And if we hadn’t gotten into that, they might say, well, that’s not me. I don’t have a person, but you do have a person. You always, always will at least have your current self, your past self and your future self. Um, and I think that they’re all three very helpful. Um, okay. So I cried once already in this episode. That’s great. Good. Let’s see if we can get number two. Um, one of your primary focuses in BLX, and I don’t mean to like mission statement your organization, but it seems, it seems to be from the outside, looking in, um, empowerment through knowing yourself and honoring yourself in the frame of whatever someone else has built. It’s a piece of choreography, but you nurture individuality. You nurture emotionality. You nurture too, at least from the outside, looking in huge, tremendous range of yeah. Of uniqueness of individuality. And it doesn’t just mean different types of people from different types of places. It means different ways of feeling. It means different ways of moving. It means different ways of expressing. And so I’m really interested in that. Um, for a long time I had a I’ll call it beef. Like I had some mental blocks around dancing, sexy. I didn’t kind of like you and bill, how he was like, well, what’s different about you.
I, whenever anybody was like, okay, well he put your heels on. It was like, I don’t have to, or I like shouldn’t have to. I think it’s sexy to dance like a boy, or I think it’s more fun to dance harder. I don’t think dancing light and soft is cool. It’s too fluffy. It’s not, it won’t last it’s. I don’t want to be objectified. I don’t, you know, all these young person thoughts, which are super valid, but, um, I think many of them were in place of answering the question for myself. What is sexy? What is sensual? What is attractive to me? And now I’ve been able to spend some more time with those questions and answer them for myself. But I would love to hear how you answer those questions for you and what you encourage in your, um, in the people that train with you, how to find your sexy how’d you find your central And I love so many of the word choices you used first. I want to say body language. So when you see, when you’re saying BLX it’s body language experience, it’s my intensive that I created. That’s like really intense.
Okay. So body language BLX are fully different things,
Right. So body language is my class body language experience PLX is my intensive is the that’s like, okay. It’s like, oh, I want, I like this. I like your body language intention. And I want to like dive into this more. Um, so that’s PLX is actually my intensive. So, um, when I started training with Tracy Philips to be in show, right when I was just like, oh, there’s this sexy dance show. It’s like, kind of like a burlesque show, but like not, I w I remember seeing this show at Harville’s and Santa Monica and many, many, many years ago being like, oh my gosh, the power that these women have, I, if I could ever be on that stage, I don’t even know what I would do. Whatever. Fast forward to I’m in a room with Tracy Phillips on auditioning for the show fast forward to, she hires me for the show fast forward to we’re in rehearsals. And I’m recognizing that she’s highlighting, there is a way to not be the object, but to show as the subject. And so that you even said that alone, like, I don’t want to be objectified all these things and this frame of mind of like, okay, well then what’s my subject matter. Go again. Like, what, what am I here? What is my subject? What am I teaching? What am I sharing? What’s my voice. Again, it goes back to my voice instead of this idea that like, oh, my body is all that is needed here. My external is all that’s needed here. The, the physical body is part of the expression, but it’s not all there is. It’s why my physical body is moving as what really matters. So, man,
In that show, it’s like the least of which there’s so much imagination. There’s so much wonder. There’s so much like raw energy that is kind of blinding in some cases where I’m like, I didn’t, I can’t recall what you were wearing. I actually don’t remember what you were in that show because of everything else was like, just so Loud. I know, but The imagination, the command, the creativity, it is shit.
But as my younger self was beginning to be a part of it, I remember my focus was like, oh, this is what I’m wearing. This is so tiny. Can I wear a bra under this? She’s like, no, I’m like, but my boobs are going to, my boobs are bigger. And like, they’re not perky. And like an, and they’re going to move, like, I’m doing all this. They’re just going to be distracting. And like, I’m not going to be comfortable with like the amount that I learned about my insecurities through that process was profound. And being able to be like, he was like, no, you’re going to be, you you’re enough. Like you are as you are like she, so I called out from the show once because of my acne. Cause I was like, I can’t show up to this show because physically I’m not in this place, which then mentally puts me not in this place. And Tracy called me and she was like, she let me have it. She was like, your perception of your imperfections are your power. Like you showing up, you showing up with all of whatever you perceive as your imperfections is the whole point of what we’re doing. That is your power. Trey was like, this is like, she was basically like, who would you be without that? Like the artist you are is because of that. Like, that’s like, you are you like, you imagine you wouldn’t have your same power without those insecurities. So she was like, so beautiful.
And we just got duped, which has got duped into thinking that everyone we see performing as perfect without realizing that the actual reason we think they’re perfect is because they’re showing up with all shit
Owning it. Yes, yes, yes. Yes.
In most cases, I think there are a lot of cases where people are fully not owning their shit and hiding it and doing okay for now. But there will come a point when the power that you wield is far greater when you’re using all of it, strengths and weaknesses together. And we’ll say weaknesses just for less, less than, I don’t know, less than perfect qualities
And securities is what I keep thinking. Like things that I feel less than about myself or things that I want to hide or things that I don’t feel are valuable. Things that I haven’t perceived as having value to me until they do. And I’m like, oh my gosh, there was so much purpose there for me in these insecurities or in these, um, in these defaults, you know, I might’ve thought of them that way before, um, back to the sexy. So, so much of, of her teaching me and living through that experience was how I developed my voice and how I found what my sexy was. And then body language has created with the knee. I felt this void of, I wanted more opportunities to show up that way. And so I created body language to fill this gap of like, gosh, all these other dance shops I’m doing. I don’t feel like I have the opportunity to show up the way I want to. So I’m going to use my voice to practice that, which is practicing also my sexy, but prep to me, sexy is commitment. That’s my phrase. Commitment is sexy. So I might be like, yeah, I want to go feel sexy. But like, really I want to commit to myself.
You want to feel all I want to commit.
That’s it. And to me, that is the answer to sexy. So it doesn’t matter what I look like. Doesn’t matter whether I’m wearing a healer. The only reason why, the only reason why I practice this space in a heel is because it’s the most, it’s the most on, it’s not been given the opportunity to be seen as anything different than this. Like one, one thing like, yeah, like it really hasn’t. It has been, of course there’s caveats to that. But like there is a compartment that lives in us. That’s been put there through the court from historical, whatever, from media, there is a compartment you
There is a compartment that BLX lives that has like confinements to it. And I’m like, we’re breaking those refinements here in this space. And that’s what body language is. And so I’m doing it in a heel because it’s the most obvious place that, that we get to confront, but it goes off all other sides of it. But like, so commitment is sexy. If I’m like, I want to practice finding my sexy it’s I want to practice fully committing to myself or fully committing dot, dot, dot whether it’s fully committing to how I want to have a relationship with my husband fully committing to like living my truth in this moment. Like that’s where the sexy lives is. Commitment, complete commitment.
I love that answer. I love that answer. And is I laughed as you were talking about that, because I was thinking about all of the headshots that I have taken of me and all of the headshots that have crossed my desk now that I’m in more positions of being the one that is casting people of people trying to be sexy and really missing the mark because of exactly that commitment isn’t there because there’s a part of the mind or the body, or probably both. That’s thinking I’m not this, this isn’t right. This feels bad. Who’s going to look. I like there. So, oh my God. I would really, I wish that my younger self had those words before I got all of my sexy video girl head shots taken. And I hope that everyone listening now can head into those moments, which honestly we could debate back and forth about whether headshots are important or not. I still think they are maybe, maybe second now to your Instagram presence, but that’s the same thing. Imagine that what I’m saying is the same thing. If you think you need to post you being sexy on Instagram and you are not fully committed to thinking and feeling sexy, then you are missing the mark. And it is painful to look at. It is awkward. It does not, it does not achieve the goal. So I think it’s a very simple metric commitment. Like you can be all in or you can be any degrees less than that. And we can tell
Clear to me, the more I teach when like someone is trying to do something as opposed to owning what they are or owning what they’re doing, they’re the trying and the, or the hiding or the thinking someone’s not going to know or like thinking it can be fooled. It’s just not, it just, it doesn’t happen. So if I could be like, wow, I can’t actually hide. If I’m choosing to be in the public eye, if I’m choosing to take my pants into a room with other people, I am choosing to have outside interpretations of myself, I am choosing to have perspectives from other people. I’m, that’s a choice that I have that I get do. Right? So choose this. Yes. This, because I can be the best answer in the world and not have to choose to do it in front of everybody. And that doesn’t matter. Right. I’m choosing, okay, I’m going to do this in front of people. I’m actually also going to choose to have people choose me for money, like as a whole thing. Right. So if I’m opening my idea to like, I’ve chosen to get outside opinion about myself, my body, my skills, my talent.
here’s no hiding. There is no hiding. They will see me. They will see all of me at all times. They will see my fears. They will see my insecurities just like Tracy saw my insecurities, but didn’t see them as insecurities. I did. She saw them as my power because I was owning them until that moment that I was like, I’m out. I can’t own it right now. And she’s like, you been owning it. This is your power. And I was like, thank you for my recharge. Even though I still didn’t go in that night. Cause I wasn’t ready to recharge. Well, let’s be honest. You let that land, let her know that our whole 24 hours that I didn’t go back to the show, you know, at the end all, you know, so what I want to say also about what you’re saying is like, there is a commitment you can be fully committed, but have intentions that don’t serve you.
And the intention also matters to the commitment. So if my intention is just to be fully committed, to being sexy, because this is going to get me a job or I’m going to be fully committed to being sexy because this is what I have to do or I’m going to be full. This is what gets me, attention, attention, whatever the commitment is, not the only part, the intention before the commitment matters. The most like I have phrasing in body language and like the, the, the, the, um, the S in which the phrasing is said matter. So it starts with intention, not attention. That’s the very first thing. That’s the focus intention, not attention. And then the second thing we’ve already really talked about this, but clarity is confidence. So you were even saying earlier about like, when I’m confused, I’m I don’t feel powerful. Like, to me, that’s my version of clarity is confidence. So when I’m clear, I’m confident so that I don’t try to be confident. I work on getting clear and confidence and natural result of that. So tension, clarity, and then comes commitment. So without tension, without the purpose, without the clarity of the why and the, what, you know, like what my reasoning for it is, the commitment can get very misunderstood. And the commitment could also be very, um, could take you in the pudding. What’d you say? I said
Off putting, it
Could be off-putting or it could be inputting into the wrong areas that you actually weren’t desiring in the first place. It could take you into avenues that you really didn’t want to go. You just thought you should do because dot, dot, dot. So I do want to just say that, of course commitment. Yes. But that to me is the last part of the puzzle, all the other pieces before, about the why I’m doing this, about the, how I’m choosing to do this, about the purpose, about how, what I’m doing here comes first. And then it’s like, all right, once I have intention, once I’m clear on that, now I’ll come in.
Yeah. That sets the shape that sets the trajectory. You have a starting point and then the, the middle point, and then you have to, to create the shape of this line to drive to land. Yeah. You need that third point. That’s awesome. Thank you so much for sharing that. Absolutely brilliant. I hope that everyone runs at full speed, um, safely to sign up for future body language classes and BLS programs. You are just such a gift. Thank you so much for sharing with us today. And always, always out there sharing, even, even when you’re in maintenance mode, you are contributing a great deal to this community, the dance community. So thank you. Thank you for all of it. You’re such a great example of, of, of, of doing it and doing it with intention, doing it with kindness, curiosity as well, and also a good giggle. Really good laugh. God, I love it.
so good. So welcome my friend. We’ll do this again sometime. How about that? Yes, please. Okay. And so next time take care of my friend.
All right. My friend, what do you think? What do you feel there’s so much to, to dig into here? Um, and still much to talk about. I could talk to Liana forever. Um, but a big takeaway here for me today is this difference between stopping and pausing, the notion that not every compartment, not every subject of your life needs an a plus for effort. I’ll take a C plus my friend still above average for the record. Um, but man, oh man, I work with so many people, clients, friends, coworkers on burnout, and the feeling that something ultimately is going to have to give. And the greatest solution to that feeling is simply remembering that not every one of our settings needs to be in kill mode. We can be in maintenance mode. We can always be in breathe mode, breathe. Holy smokes, such a good reminder and breath and voice are bound.
I love how much Liana talked about voice and it’s reminding me to continue to work on mine. Um, I do also so love this imagery of the cockpit of your life, with all these levers and buttons and dials to adjust. And of course, a copilot that might be younger, you with all that childlike, enthusiasm and curiosity, or it might be the future. You who’s already figured it out or possibly a partner, a collaborator, a friend, family member, man, call me crazy. But my imagination goes ham with this, with this visualization. And as a result, usually I wind up getting off my butt and taking action, like metaphorically I fly. So I hope that thought is helpful for you. And if it isn’t or even if it is, I have something else that is helpful, a free career coaching call tomorrow. If you’re listening to this on the day of its release, tomorrow is January 13th and I will be hosting a free career coaching call at 11:00 AM Pacific that’s 2:00 PM Eastern, totally free and totally open to all people, even those not registered members of the words that move me community.
Speaker 0 01:09:56 So if you are curious about what career coaching even is like, what does it look and sound like to coach with me? Get in there. It is not too late to register, but you do need to register in order to receive the login info. So visit theDanawilson.com/work with me all one word, work with me, Work with me to sign up and, uh, get the login info. I, so look forward to seeing you and talking like with you who the best, um, if you happen to have missed that date already fear not I’ll be doing this sort of thing a lot. Um, just be sure that you are on my mailing list so that you get updates about calls. Uh, you joined the mailing list by visiting the website. Again, the Dana wilson.com scroll all the way to the bottom. It says, keep it funky. And you enter your email address there. You will be added to our mailing list. Amazing. Um, okay. I think that is it for me today. My friend, thank you so much for being here. I appreciate ya. I think the world of you, I hope you get out there and keep it funky. I’ll talk to you soon.
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